Rating: NC-17 for language and sexytimes
Word Count: 3,453
Spoilers: General Season 3
Disclaimer: Rub it in, why don't you.
Summary: Written for the Paradox Kink Meme for the prompt "Sheldon loses a bet with Penny and has to go clubbing. Penny in a sexy little black dress + a whorish cuba libre = A dirty dancing Sheldon and bathroom sex. "
It was a Saturday night and the club was packed. Lights flashed off and on over the packed dance floor. Bass pounded from the speakers at ear-shattering decibel levels. People shouted drink orders at the bartenders. Scantily clad women gyrated by themselves, with men, with each other.
It was, in short, Sheldon Cooper’s worst nightmare.
He pressed himself as tightly against the wall as possible, trying desperately to avoid the other club patrons as they whirled past him, shrieking loudly and spilling their drinks onto the already unspeakably dirty floor. Honestly, what had he been thinking, agreeing to this horrifying ordeal?
Actually, he hadn’t had much of a choice in the matter. Annoyed at Penny’s ever-increasing skill at Halo - and by the taunts she tossed at him every time they played - he had rashly challenged her to a bet. If he managed to defeat her, she had to keep her apartment tidy and drive him to the comic book store whenever he wanted for a whole month.
“And if I win?” she had countered, green eyes sparking.
He scoffed. “In the unlikely event of your triumph, you may choose whatever terms you wish.”
Penny tilted her head to one side, tapping a finger against her lips. He quickly averted his eyes. “You’re on, sweetie,” she said, smiling dangerously.
Sheldon spent the next week preparing, feverishly Googling tips and cheats, watching walkthroughs and following a punishing finger-exercise regimen. He was determined to prove his gaming dominance once and for all. It was unacceptable that Penny should be allowed to continue her reign of terror; it was time for him to reassert himself. He would not fail.
He failed. Penny had thrashed him while the others crowed from the sidelines, cheering her on and heaping insults upon his head. Even Leonard - her ex-lover! - had been rooting for her. Really, it had been terrible. But the worst was yet to come.
“I’m ready to tell you my terms now,” Penny announced, tossing her game controller to the floor with an air of triumph while Leonard, Howard and Raj started yelling out suggestions. She fixed Sheldon with a steely look.
“You’re going to take me out.”
Horror started to dawn on his face.
“At a CLUB.”
“Oh, dear God, NO!” he blurted out, twitching frantically while his eyes practically rolled back in his head. “Penny, do you know how dirty those places are? And the levels of inebriation that their inhabitants reach? I would run the all-too-real risk of someone actually vomiting on my person!”
“Touch shit,” Penny purred back at him with a distinctively feline look. “You lost. Now it’s time to pay the piper.”
“Can I pay him to take my place in this ridiculous farce?” Sheldon muttered as he slunk to his room.
“Saturday night, Sheldon!” her cheerful voice followed him down the hallway. “You’re all mine!”
Sheldon cringed away as someone slammed into him, their drink sloshing onto his arm and soaking into his shirt. He turned to glare at the miscreant responsible and saw Penny beaming up at him, cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling. She held a glass out towards him and said something, but he couldn’t hear her over the music.
“I’m sorry, Penny, I couldn’t hear you over this infernal racket. Can you please repeat what you just said?” he said loudly.
“WHAT?” Penny yelled.
Sheldon heaved a sigh and tried again. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?”
“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” she shouted.
“WHAT DID - oh, this is futile!” He pointed at his ear, spread his hands and shrugged his shoulders in an exaggerated fashion.
Penny laughed up at him and leaned in, putting a hand on the back of his neck to pull him down so she could speak to him more closely. He shivered as her hand, cold and wet from holding her drink, came in contact with his warm skin. “I was just saying that I got you another diet virgin Cuba Libre - I think you need one!” She shoved the drink into his hand and leaned back, an impish smile hovering around the corners of her mouth. “Go on, bottoms up!”
He was rather thirsty. He eyed Penny suspiciously but she looked back at him with an innocent expression, batting her eyelashes and turning to watch the action on the dance floor. He sniffed the drink and then swallowed half of it in one gulp, his throat working as he drank down the icy liquid. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve and took another small sip. He felt a tiny bit better already.
“Good?” Penny yelled, raising her eyebrows. Sheldon nodded cautiously. “Excellent. Then it’s time to dance!”
Sheldon squeaked and immediately started flailing, but Penny managed to grab one of his arms in a death grip and started dragging him forward, pushing people out of her way until they were near the center of the dance floor. He stood motionless, eyes darting wildly as people crashed into him from every side. This was intolerable.
Penny was already dancing, hips swinging in time with the music as she shimmied and waved her arms. The little black dress she was wearing moved with her, tightening across her chest and sliding up her thighs as she moved. A beefy man with gelled hair suddenly appeared behind her, leering down at her as he grabbed her around the waist and ground his pelvic area against hers. Penny twisted in his arms and stared at Sheldon, and even he could understand the message she was sending with her eyes. He unfroze, reaching out and pulling Penny out of the other man’s sweaty grasp.
“Excuse me, sir, but this young woman is my companion for the evening.” His words were immediately lost in the noise.
The man appeared to laugh at him and reached out for Penny again. Sheldon felt a warmth building up in his chest, although whether it was from the Diet Coke or some unfamiliar emotion, he couldn’t tell. He just knew he had to keep Penny out of this Neanderthal’s clutches.
Sheldon wrapped his arms tightly around Penny’s waist. “SHE’S WITH ME!” he roared, startling both Penny and himself. The man raised his hands apologetically, gave Penny one last lascivious look and then melted back into the crowd.
Penny suddenly turned in his arms, reaching up to trap him in a hug. “Sheldon, that was amazing!” she laughed into his ear. “You saved me from that disgusting guy! You’re my hero!”
Sheldon puffed up his chest and felt a strange expression cross his face. It felt like…pride? Well, of course, the advances of another male towards his female would cause a rise in testosterone levels, increasing his feelings of possessiveness and territoriality. He realized that one hand had drifted up to clutch at Penny’s waist and that she was still holding on to him as well. Without him even noticing, they had started moving back and forth in a steady rhythm. Why…why, he was dancing!
Penny’s body writhed under his hands, moving sinuously in time with the music as he tried to match his motions to her own. He lifted a shaky hand and tossed down the rest of his drink, setting the empty glass on the tray of a passing waitress. Penny reached out and snatched his upraised hand, using it to twirl herself around before coming to a stop facing away from him with the back of her body pressed against the front of his own. He swallowed painfully.
The music switched to a new track, something slower with a husky female voice and a pulsating beat. Penny swayed against him, her backside pressed into the front of his trousers. She raised her arms in the air, reaching back languidly to wrap them around Sheldon’s neck and play with the hair at the nape. He felt strange; his body was warm and flushed, and his thinking seemed to have slowed to a crawl. His breathing was erratic and he felt tingly all over. The majority of the tingles, however, seemed to be located in the general vicinity of his groin. He felt himself stirring and, in a panic, tried to push her away from him.
Penny turned slowly in his arms and looked up at him, her eyes full of knowledge and secrets. Ignoring his feeble attempts to keep her at arms’ length, she moved closer to him and smoothly slid one thigh in between his legs, never losing the rhythm of the song. She pressed tightly to him, moving her hands to press at the small of his back and bring him flush against her body. She rolled her pelvis against his and smiled when he closed his eyes, his breath catching in his throat as he fought for control. He lost.
Sheldon suddenly found himself staring down at Penny’s lips, wanting nothing more than to crush his own against them and…and ravage her. Hands tightening in the fabric of her dress, he dipped his head and pressed his mouth to hers, reaching his hand up to cup the back of her head. Inwardly marveling at his forwardness, he kissed her as thoroughly as he knew how, groaning into her mouth as she nipped at his tongue and reached around to place a firm hand on his backside. A full song went by before he broke away from her, gasping for breath and staring at her with wide eyes as he struggled to regain his composure.
Penny’s eyes glinted up at him, looking dark and fierce beneath the flashing colored lights overhead. She reached up a hand to push a damp tendril of blond hair off of her forehead, then licked a drop of sweat from her finger as Sheldon watched, mesmerized. Something seemed to be wrong with his equilibrium; his head was spinning and there was a dull ringing in his ears. In a daze, he slowly wiped a hand across his own forehand and then jerked as Penny reached up to grasp it. Looking him straight in the eye, her tongue darted out to taste his sweat on his forefinger, and then - Oh Jesus - she sucked the whole digit into the soft wetness of her mouth, swirling her tongue against its length and scraping the tip with her teeth. Sheldon’s whole body stiffened and a soft grunt escaped his lips.
In a flash, Penny took his hand in her own and whirled around, fighting her way across the club and pulling Sheldon behind her. Dirty looks and curses were ignored as she careened through the crowd, head swiveling as she looked for something. Spotting her target, she marched over to one of the club’s unisex bathrooms and yanked the door open, pushing Sheldon in ahead of her. He stumbled over the threshold and reached out blindly, steadying himself on the sink. He lifted his hand and stared at it, a vague voice in the back of his mind informing him that he ought to be repulsed, that public bathrooms were cesspools of germs and bacteria, but then he looked up to see Penny decisively bolting the lock on the door and turning to face him.
Suddenly, the germs didn’t seem so important anymore.
Penny leaned up against the door, her arms crossed over her chest as she gave him a long, lazy, head-to-toe look, lingering at his crotch, making him blush. He felt his respiration begin to speed up even more, and he nervously tugged at the collar of his shirt and licked his lips. Her gaze shifted to his mouth and a slow smile blossomed across her face.
“You know, Sheldon, the terms of our bet said that you had to come here with me tonight. And dance with me. And…do whatever I want you to do.”
“I - I am aware of these stipulations.” He’s drifting towards her as if pulled by a magnetic force.
“I’ve decided on something else I want you to do.” He’s right in front of her now, almost touching her.
“And what is that?”
She went up on tiptoe, brushing her lips against his ear. “I want you to fuck me.”
He stood motionless for the space of a few heartbeats, wondering if his elevated blood alcohol content (please, he knew that Penny wouldn’t be satisfied with this evening until she reduced him to public drunkenness) was causing him to hallucinate. He shook his head slightly and refocused on Penny’s face.
She grabbed his chin in her hand and looked him straight in the eye. “SHELDON. I want you to fuck me RIGHT NOW.”
Something clicked in his brain and he snapped into motion, hands whipping out to plant themselves on the door on either side of Penny and his head snapping forward to press a hard kiss on her lips. She reacted instantly, reaching up to twist her fingers in his hair, one leg coming up to wrap around him. It was fast and hot and he had stopped thinking completely, he was a purely physical being, he could do nothing but touch her and react to the stimulus of her touching him.
Sheldon reached down to grasp her thigh, pushing the fabric of her dress out of the way as his hand skimmed upward. She moaned against his mouth, biting down hard on his bottom lip as his nimble fingers moved higher and danced across the front of her underwear. Lace, he thought. He wrapped his hand around the scrap of fabric and gave a swift tug, mildly astonished when it tore immediately and was left dangling from his fingers. He tossed the panties backwards over his shoulder without a second glance.
He cupped his hand between her thighs, feeling the wetness on his palm and hearing the catch in her breathing. He slowly curled a finger upwards and slid it into her slick heat, following it with a second finger as Penny groaned gutturally and hitched her leg up higher. He slid his fingers in and out, pausing to circle the nub of flesh he knew to be full of sensitive nerve endings. He was suddenly overcome with the need to taste her there. Immediately.
He gathered her against him and turned blindly. The feel of her pressing against his throbbing cock made his vision go black around the edges, but he managed to deposit her onto the sink, her hands gripping the edge of the counter to keep her balance. He grabbed her legs and held them apart as he swiftly dropped to his knees and immediately buried his face between her thighs, breathing her in as her hands came to rest on the top of his head. He rubbed a cheek along the inside of her leg, hearing his five o’clock shadow rasp against her soft skin.
Penny made small mewling sounds, pulling his head forward with insistent hands and tilting her hips upward. Reaching around to cup her buttocks in his hands, he pulled her forward into his mouth, nibbling at her gently with careful teeth and sucking on her clitoris with firm pressure. Sheldon used his fingers and tongue to set a rhythm that moved in time with the music that could be heard through the thin bathroom walls. Her breathing was heavy, erratic, and she started to pant his name, quiet at first and then louder. He could feel her legs trembling wildly, and suddenly she gasped, “Oh God, OH GOD - and she seemed to go to pieces in his arms. He leaned forward to bury his face in her stomach, listening as her breathing slowly returned to normal, and tried to ignore how hard he was and how much he wanted her.
After a moment or two, Penny fisted her hand in his hair once more and gently pulled his head back. She looked down at him, eyes gleaming. “Your turn.”
Penny slid down from the counter and backed him up against the door, grabbing a handful of his shirt and pinning his hips with her own. He couldn’t stop himself from bucking his pelvis against her; he seemed to have lost all control of his body and could only think about how much he wanted to bury himself in her. She nipped at his collarbone and his head fell back against the door with a thunk, his eyes squeezing shut as he struggled to maintain some composure in the face of her attack.
He felt her hands at the waistband of his pants, swiftly undoing the button and sliding the zipper down. She hummed against his neck as she slid her fingers into his briefs, lightly brushing against his straining cock and laughing softly as he let out a startlingly loud groan.
“You’re so hard, Sheldon,” she murmured in his ear, reaching out her tongue to glide along his earlobe. He nodded vigorously and she laughed again, stroking him through a layer of fabric and then grasping him firmly. “Now do what I told you to do.”
In the blink of an eye, he lifted her and spun her around until it was her back up against the door. She twined her legs around his waist, crossing her ankles behind him and locking them together. He was kissing her, biting her neck, sucking on her clavicle, licking wherever he could reach. She gasped and reached down between them, tugging at his underwear until his cock sprang free. He used a hand to pull her dress up, biting back an obscenity as he felt her warmth rubbing against his length.
He lifted her slightly, positioned himself, and then drove into her, sheathing himself in one swift motion. Her name was ripped from his throat as the sudden rush of sensations overwhelmed him, overloading his nerve endings and battering at his senses. Penny arched her back against the door and moved her hips against him; he started thrusting into her in a steady rhythm, driving deeper with each motion.
His breath was ragged and his heart felt like it was beating at three times its usual rate. His whole body was starting to shake and he couldn’t control the animalistic sounds he was making, their echoes bouncing back against the tiles. Penny was straining against him, grinding her hips faster and faster, making frantic noises in the back of her throat. All at once she screamed out, her entire body tightening around him, and he felt like he was losing his mind. He thrust once, twice more and came inside her, burying his face in her shoulder as he rasped out a stream of unintelligible words.
The stood like that for a moment, each trying to regain some semblance of self-control. Eventually Penny unlocked her ankles and slid hesitantly to the floor, holding on to his shoulders as if not sure that her legs would bear her weight. Sheldon drew in a shaky breath and patted himself down all over as if to make sure everything was still there. They tidied themselves up the best they could and left the bathroom, ignoring the giggles and curious stares of the people waiting in line.
The car ride back home was strangely silent compared to the aural assault of the club environment. Sheldon sat in the passenger seat, tapping his fingertips lightly against his knees and shooting quick glances at Penny. She stared straight ahead the entire trip, an expression on her face that he couldn’t even begin to read.
They walked up the stairs to the fourth floor and Sheldon went to his door as Penny crossed the landing to her own. He stood helplessly, staring at her back and she unlocked her door, desperate to say something but not having the slightest clue of what was appropriate for the situation. He had just opened his mouth to blurt out what was sure to be the wrong thing when Penny suddenly turned around. His mouth snapped shut.
“So, Sheldon,” she said, raising her eyebrows. “What do you think about a Halo rematch on Wednesday?”
What was she up to now? “I believe I would be amenable to that suggestion,” he replied cautiously. “What did you have in mind for the terms of the bet?”
A grin appeared on her face and she ambled over, pulled his head down and gave him a quick kiss on the nose. “Oh, I’m sure we’ll think of something,” she said gaily, flitting back to her apartment and closing the door before he could think of a response. He stood there bemused for a moment, then shook his head and turned to enter his residence.
If this was losing, then perhaps winning wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.