Word Count: 637
Disclaimer: It’s for charity! Sue me and I’ll alert Anderson Cooper.
Summary: Penny doesn’t approve of Sheldon’s bedtime attire.
Written for dashakay after we noticed last night that Sheldon wears socks to bed. She challenged me to write a drabble about it and made a donation to Architecture for Humanity in return.
Penny exits the bathroom and strolls into Sheldon’s room, smiling indulgently at the sight of him already cocooned in his straightjacket of blankets with his eyes closed. Well, at least he’s left her half of the bed this time.
She walks over and dramatically flings the covers down, startling Sheldon into making a sound like a psychotic seagull. His hands fly up to bunch under his chin and he glowers at her, the effect somewhat diminished by the fact that he’s wearing only the pair of Batman boxer shorts that she bought him for his last birthday. Penny has to struggle to keep a grin off her face.
“Oh good, you took my advice about what to wear to bed,” she says brightly, crawling in next to him, pulling the covers back up and placing a warm hand on his stomach. The muscles beneath her palm quiver and then relax.
Sheldon snorts. “I was under the impression that what you call ‘advice’ was, in fact, an order.”
Penny puts on her best indignant face. “What makes you say that?”
“Perhaps it was the fact that you said, ‘Sheldon, I order you to take off those ridiculous plaid pajamas and - ’”
Penny waves an airy hand. “Advice, order, same difference.” She curls up against his side, smoothing the covers over them. “I hate those pajamas, my feet get all tangled up in them.” She slides her feet down his long shins to illustrate the benefits of not wearing pajama bottoms. “See, now I can…”
Her voice trails off as she sits up abruptly and shoves the bedspread down. “Sheldon.”
“What have I told you about wearing socks to bed?”
Sheldon peers down at his feet, which are adorned with neon-colored striped socks, and then up at Penny, who’s sitting with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. “You told me not to, as you find them unattractive and off-putting.”
“Actually, I think the words I used were ‘nerdy as hell’ and ‘completely unsexy.’ So…what’s the deal?”
His expression turns mulish and he crosses his own arms. “I enjoy wearing socks to bed. They prevent heat loss from my lower extremities and provide a buffer between my feet and the floor should I need to urinate in the middle of the night.”
Penny considers this and then makes a dismissive gesture. “Well, they look ridiculous. Take them off.”
The eyebrow goes back up. “Excuse me?”
Sheldon purses his lips and blinks owlishly at her. “Do we need to get your hearing checked again?” He leans toward her, speaking loudly and over-enunciating every word. “NO, I will NOT REMOVE my SOCKS.”
Penny narrows her eyes at him. “That was a mistake, buster.”
Leonard is awakened by the sound of a commotion coming from Sheldon’s bedroom. He sits up and listens, confused, until a series of thumps and yells propels him out of bed and into the hallway. He hovers outside Sheldon’s door for a moment and is tentatively raising a hand to knock when he hears Penny shriek loudly. Without thinking, he barges into the room -
- and stops dead in his tracks.
Penny and Sheldon stare up him from the floor. Sheldon is sprawled flat on the rug, face red and hair mussed. Penny is sitting on his thighs, sweating lightly and gripping his sock-clad foot in her hands. Sheldon’s other foot is bare, and as Leonard’s gaze darts around the room, he spies a matching sock dangling from the lamp.
No one says a word.
Leonard backs out of the room slowly, pulling the door closed behind him and averting his eyes. He scuttles back across the hallway and jumps into his bed, pulling the covers over his head.
He thinks it might be a good idea to call his mother in the morning.