Rating: G to R
Spoilers: Through 2x10.
Warnings: Fluff. Insinuated vore. Fire. Eyebrow abuse. Overuse of Wes and David. Drunk!Blaine.
Word Count: ~2500
Summary: Fills from the kurt_blaine One Sentence Meme. I do not regret my lost weekend AT ALL.
Prompt: Kurt/Blaine meet at summer camp when they are 10 years old.
"What," a high-pitched, slightly shrill voice demands, "is that?"
Blaine looks up from the craft project he's working on to see a small, pale boy standing next to him, arms crossed and foot tapping. "Uh, a lanyard? You know, for my house key? My parents aren't home a lot, and I keep losing it..."
"Well, you're doing it all wrong." The boy sits down next to him and snatches the lanyard right out of his hands. "These colors are terrible! They won't complement any of your outfits. They don't even complement each other. And your weaving technique is atrocious, it's all loose and sloppy..."
Blaine sits, open-mouthed, as the boy proceeds to unravel all of his work and then starts searching through the other colors in the bin. He presents Blaine with two new lengths of cord - navy and red - and then bounces back up from the table.
"I trust you'll do a better job with this one. I expect to see the finished result tomorrow. I have to go now, I need to work on my routine for the talent show." He exits the crafts tent and then his head pops back in. "I'm Kurt, by the way."
He's gone again before Blaine can even reply. He stares down at the cords in his hands and a slow smile starts to creep across his face. He starts weaving again, this time paying more attention to what he's doing.
After all, Kurt will want to see it tomorrow.
Prompt: Kurt discovers Blaine's kinky porn collection and awkwardness ensues.
(I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I COULDN’T RESIST)
Kurt bursts into Blaine's room and gives him a casual wave, saying, "Blaine, I just need to borrow your computer for a sec, I have to check on an assignment..."
Blaine nods absentmindedly, engrossed in his French textbook. Then he remembers that he had left his browser window open and lurches to his feet in horror. "Wait! Kurt! Don't..."
Kurt is staring at Blaine's computer, eyes wide and mouth agape. "B-Blaine? I don't...What is this?"
Blaine moves toward him and gently closes his laptop. "It's called 'vore,' Kurt. It's...well, I think you saw what it is."
Kurt steps back from the desk and stares at Blaine. "I don't understand. And...why do you have a fork in your hand?"
Blaine smiles at him, teeth glinting. "Don't worry. I'll show you."
Prompt: A Candlelit Dinner
"Blaine, I have something I want to tell you..." Kurt looked nervous and Blaine's heart skipped a beat. Kurt had asked him out to dinner and taken him to a romantic, candlelit restaurant; maybe he was finally ready to tell Blaine how he felt about him?
Blaine leaned forward and captured one of Kurt's hands in his own. "I'm listening," he murmured, gazing soulfully into Kurt's eyes.
"Uh, Blaine..." Kurt suddenly looked even more nervous. No, scratch that, he looked positively terrified.
Blaine stroked Kurt's palm soothingly with his thumb. "You can tell me anything, Kurt. I'm here for you."
Blaine nodded encouragingly.
- - -
"I told you that you shouldn't put so much product in your hair!" Kurt wasn't even trying to keep the laughter out of his voice as he carefully dabbed a soothing cream on Blaine's scalp.
"Well, how was I supposed to know that it was so flammable?" Blaine grumbled, silently mourning the loss of a good two inches of hair on the left side of his head.
Kurt gazed at him with ill-concealed mirth in his eyes and patted his hand consolingly. "Don't worry. Next time I'll make sure to choose a restaurant that doesn't have candles on the table."
Prompt: Kurt & Blaine, alone on a balcony.
Kurt and Blaine peered over the edge of the balcony, anxiously listening for any sounds from below. There was no moon, and it was too dark to see the ground beneath them.
"Do...do you think he's okay?" Kurt asked nervously. Oh god, he was a murderer. A murderer! He hadn't actually read through Dalton's honor code yet, but he was willing to bet that homicide was definitely grounds for expulsion.
Blaine waved a hand dismissively. "I'm sure he's fine; there's a bunch of huge azalea bushes right below here. He's probably just stunned."
A faint moan drifted up to their ears, and Kurt relaxed a little.
"It's his own fault, anyway," Blaine added. "He knew that I was planning on taking you out here tonight."
Kurt arched an eyebrow. "Oh, so you planned this whole interlude? And here I thought that you were just suddenly stricken with the burning desire to kiss me under the stars."
Blaine laughed sheepishly. "Well, I may have asked for some advice on where the most romantic spots in the school are. I should have realized that there would be some kind of sabotage involved. What I didn't realize is that you have such insane ninja skills. I didn't even see him coming, but you just kind of flipped him right over the edge without batting an eyelash."
"Good reflexes honed by my time at McKinley," Kurt replied, a trace of pride creeping into his voice. He frowned abruptly. "And anyway, David should have known better than to try to get a picture of us kissing."
Another quiet groan sounded from below. They could hear Wes calling David's name and the sound of him thrashing through the shrubbery.
"You're completely right; he has no one to blame but himself." Blaine slid a hand up Kurt's back and tugged gently on the short hair at the nape of his neck. "You know, it'll take Wes a while to untangle David and get him back inside."
Kurt turned toward Blaine with a brilliant smile and wound his arms around Blaine’s neck. "Then we'd better make good use of our time."
Prompt: Kurt walks in on Blaine waxing his eyebrows.
"'Threading?'" Blaine asked nervously, holding a cold washcloth against the tender skin on his brow. "Please tell me that's slang for some kind of kinky sexual act."
Blaine woke up the next morning to the sound of Wes and David's manic giggling. Groaning in annoyance, he opened his eyes and glared at them.
"What are you laughing at?"
Beaming, Wes stepped forward and handed Blaine a mirror. "We took care of your eyebrow maintenance problems for you!"
Blaine squinted at his reflection in the mirror and sucked in a horrified breath. More screaming ensued.
Wes and David ran from the room, laughing hysterically, dropping the plastic razor on the floor on their way out.
Prompt: Are you there, Vodka? It's me, Blaine.
Kurt is studying in his room when his door suddenly bursts open with a bang. Startled, he spins around in his chair and is confronted with the sight of Blaine hanging onto the doorframe, positively leering at him.
"Helloooooo, KURT!" Blaine slurs, apparently trying to wink at him, but it's not going very well. Kurt thinks uncharitably that he looks like an owl with a tic and tries hard not to laugh out loud.
"Uh, hi, Blaine," Kurt replies, blanching as the smell of alcohol hits him from across the room. Jesus, is Blaine drunk? Mature, debonair, responsible Blaine? "What have you been up to?"
"Oh, you knoooow..." Blaine waves a hand flippantly and is immediately distracted by the sight of his own waving fingers. He tears his eyes away after a moment and beams at Kurt. "I was in Wes and David's room and we were having a pow wow - " he pauses and silently mouths pow wow again, apparently liking the feel of the words on his lips, " - and we were talking about YOU." He smiles sunnily at Kurt and lurches across the room, tangling his feet in the rug and faceplanting onto Kurt's bed. Laughing uproariously, he rolls over and smiles goofily at Kurt. “YOU.”
Kurt crosses his legs primly and motions for Blaine to continue. “Don’t stop there. Why were you discussing yours truly?” His smile mirrors Blaine’s; even wasted, Blaine is completely adorable. Plus, he can’t help but notice that Blaine’s curls are starting to escape from their shellacked prison and that his T-shirt shows off his arms nicely. Kurt blushes and averts his eyes.
“Welllll….” Blaine reaches out and touches the tip of his pointer finger to Kurt’s foot. After studying his own finger for a minute, he looks up at Kurt and grins at him. “They were talking about how cute you are. Your hair, and your pretty, pretty eyes, and the way your ass looks in your jeans. WOO.” His eyes widen at this last part and he attempts another leer.
Kurt raises an eyebrow and tries to ignore the butterflies that have erupted in his stomach. “Oh, really? Wes and David were saying these things?”
“Of course,” Blaine says in a dignified tone, apparently not noticing that two of his fingers were now tiptoeing their way up Kurt’s ankle. “I would never objectify you in such an un…unseemly manner.”
“Right,” Kurt retorts, rolling his eyes. Blaine’s failure to objectify him was actually the only thing he disliked about Blaine, and why their budding relationship hadn’t yet made it past the point of a few kisses and - on one memorable occasion - Kurt actually getting a hand on Blaine’s ass before Blaine moved away from him, muttering something about the honor code. “So, why are you here telling me about this?”
Blaine looks stumped. His hand is now caressing Kurt’s calf, and Kurt can’t help but shiver at the feeling of Blaine’s fingers on his leg. Blaine’s thumb slips behind his knee and Kurt can’t quite suppress the whimper that escapes. The look of confusion clears from Blaine’s face and he beams at Kurt triumphantly. “I came to tell you that they’re WRONG!”
Kurt gapes at Blaine for a moment and then knocks his hand away in anger. “Well, gee, Blaine, thanks. Thanks for coming down here to tell me that you think Wes and David are wrong about me being attractive. I’m glad we’ve cleared this up. Now I think it’s time for your drunk ass to get back to your room and leave me the hell alone.” His eyes are smarting with tears and he stands up abruptly, intending to drag Blaine out of his room if he has to.
Blaine’s hand sneaks up and grabs his arm, tugging with surprising force and causing Kurt to topple down onto his bed right on top of Blaine. He curses and struggles to untangle his limbs from Blaine’s, but Blaine suddenly has him locked in a bear hug and is nuzzling his face against Kurt’s neck.
“Shhh!” he says, planting tiny kisses on the underside of Kurt’s jaw. “Are you mad? Don’t be mad. They are wrong. You’re not cute, Kurt.” Kurt huffs indignantly and starts trying to escape again, but Blaine’s arms hold him fast. “You’re not cute, Kurt,” Blaine repeats, his voice a croon against Kurt’s ear. “You…you’re beautiful.”
Kurt lies still, barely registering that Blaine is now nibbling on his earlobe. “Wait, what?”
Blaine chuckles and the puff of air against Kurt’s ear makes him quiver. “Beautiful. And…sexy. Like an ice-cream cone.”
Kurt’s brain is short-circuiting at this point, which may be why he’s so confused. “Like…an ice-cream cone?”
“Yeah.” Blaine hums and nuzzles Kurt’s hair. “Because I just want to lick you all over.”
A bolt of heat shoots straight to Kurt’s groin and is only intensified when Blaine makes his point by slowly dragging his tongue up the side of Kurt’s neck. Kurt groans and turns his head, his lips meeting Blaine’s, and shoves a hand into Blaine’s hair. Blaine growls appreciatively and slings a leg over Kurt, bringing their lower bodies into closer contact. Kurt can feel Blaine hard against his thigh and he unthinkingly rocks forward and presses himself even closer.
Blaine hisses against his lips and pulls back to attack Kurt’s neck, pressing sloppy kisses across his collarbone and biting down on his shoulder. Kurt lets out a strangled cry and bucks his hips forward, earning him another bite. Blaine is panting hard against his skin and his hand is cupping Kurt’s ass, pulling him closer, and he’s grinding against Kurt and making urgent sounds deep in this throat.
Wait. Kurt suddenly pushes him away and Blaine makes a noise of protest, hands scrabbling against Kurt’s hips. Kurt’s eyes are squeezed shut and he grits out, “Stop, Blaine. We have to stop.” Blaine moans and the sound makes Kurt’s hands ball into fists. Why do they have to stop again? Oh, right.
Kurt opens his eyes and the sight of Blaine’s flushed skin and messy hair is almost enough to melt his resolve. He sighs. “Blaine, honey, I’m sorry, but you’re drunk. And although I can…appreciate the fact that it’s lowered your inhibitions enough to finally get us past first freakin’ base, I just don’t feel right about this. And there’s the fact that I’d like you to actually remember us really fooling around for the first time.”
Blaine’s face falls into such a comically woebegone expression that Kurt might be tempted to laugh if his dick wasn’t still so hard. God, no wonder this whole responsibility thing made Blaine so uptight. It was such a drag to have to be your very own cockblock.
Kurt sighs again, mentally cursing his own newly discovered sense of morality, and rolls out of bed. He holds a hand out to Blaine and pulls him up, stifling a gasp as Blaine clumsily stumbles against him and steadies himself with a hand on Kurt’s waist. Blaine is mumbling dazedly and giving Kurt his best puppy-dog eyes but Kurt marches him down the hall and shoves him into his own room, skillfully avoiding the kiss that Blaine aims at his lips so that it lands on his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Blaine. Make sure to drink lots of water.” He closes the door firmly in Blaine’s sad and bewildered face and leans back against the wall, taking a deep breath and trying - unsuccessfully - to slow his racing heart. After gathering his wits for a moment, he turns and stomps down the hall.
He pokes his head into Wes and David’s room, his glare meeting their expectant, studiedly innocent expressions. He crosses his arms and silently gives them his best bitchface until their gazes waver and their eyes dart away from his own.
“Boys, there’s only room for one gentleman in a relationship,” he announces in an acid tone that suitably conveys his displeasure. He stares each of them down, one at a time. “And the next time you ply Blaine with vodka, I can guarantee that it will not be me.”